I wanna escape to the sec 2 days, the sec 1 days, the pri school days, the kindgerdan days, the days I wasn't born. Coz then, nothing really matters.

Man, exams are nearing, so I'll be needing an inspiring post. Posting can do wonders.

SS: 3 chapts
Bio: 10 chapts
Phys: 14 chapts
Chem: 13 chapts
A Maths: 10 chapts
E maths: 10 chapts

Geog: 4 chapts + many imp notes
Total: 64 chaps + many imp notes

s(64 chap + many imp note) lol


64 chapter all squeezed in these few days till exam. It's those rushing of the exams again. "Good times"


The previous years, it's not a problem to study a day before the exam, but this year seemed different. I don't know why, but I don't have the UMPH to get top marks and do well in everything. Coz maybe, I'm just too laid back? It's kinda tough to go through this bloody year with tests after tests and comparing marks and those times when I've got depressing marks while most are bragging about.


So, come to think of it, this FYE will be my final shot this year to gauge myself, not with others, but just with myself. So, ranking and average grades won't matter coz all I wanna do is to meet my own target to prepare myself for the real thing, O Levels. And all I wanna do now is to do well for Malay Os and nothing more. So what if I spend time with all the sciences and score well for them if I never do anything about my malay?


And my malay isn't at it's best either. Tests after tests, i knew I could do well, but there woulddefinitely be a flaw here and there that cause my terrible marks. I wanna do more karangan and improve on it, but here comes FYE. I wanna read more malay novels, but here comes FYE. I really wanna do well, especially for Os, but I can't seem to find the right solution right now, especially at this hectic exam period.


Best, best is a hard state to achieve. But sometimes, cliches like "always put your best" make it seems possible. And sometimes, its a heartache to see people putting their best everytime. Everytime. Although we know what we're doing, it's threatening to see people doing well consistently. It's our future we're talking about. Well, this is just a symptom of envy or, jealousy. And I'm guilty of it most of the time.


Maybe, it's a just a loss if we, in this case, me, keep on comparing. The worst part is, most of the time, when we compare, we'll compare with the better ones. The top ones. The elite ones. Never the average ones, never the guy who sits quitely behind. Man, I'm sick of teachers revealing the top scorers, I'm sick of the times we die-die must look at each other's marks, I'm sick of manoeuvering myself to meet different expectations, I'm sick of comparing.


So, I shall just be thankful to God with the marks, high or low, that I got throughout this year and the marks that I'll be getting for FYEs. Coz i know it's all part of His plan for my life. I can't do anything to change it, but yet, I'll try my best to improve myself.




Thus, I'll do my best for FYE. What marks I get, I won't be overjoyed or depressed over because He planned all this for me. And I believe in Him.



And I'm beginning to love physics, not only because of the nearing of the exams, but it's interesting how we can apply the theories into formulaes and all.


And bio's cool too, but the memorising part stinks.


I'll not tear my pillow into pieces or beat someone up, coz that's how males, naturally, show their emotions. Coz it's comfortable for us to hide our feelings through strength which is normally related to violence yea. Fret not, I shall be emo these few days to prepare myself for the exams. I think emoness helps, coz it gives us focus on our own priorities. Weird but true. Aneh tapi benar.

Thus, I'll call this post, my last.

And that was then he realised that he was nothing but a glass of water. A glass of water poured into the myriad mugs and jugs in front of him: his parents' crystal wineglasses, his teachers' coffe mugs, his friends' drink bottles. He had to be a thousand different shapes at a thousand different times, and he was changing so quickly all the time that the water had distorted all that he saw inside, all that he held dear within. Oh, in him, the shapes, the colours, everything was transient, everything was and then, a split second later, wasn't.