Random: Good Ol' Zaki




hahaha, enough of emo. omg this jokes are hilarious! and somewhat true.





I like your thinking
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny. ''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.'' The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'' The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'' ''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''





Fun things to do at a Drive-Thru:


1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and order.


2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.


3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.


4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.


5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels.


6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you're in.


7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on. 8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.


9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.


10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.


11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"


12. When asked if they can take your order say, "Why, can I take yours?"


13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.


14. Pretend your car has broken down. Ask for assistance moving it. When they come out, drive away.


15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom.


16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.


17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.


18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.


19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.


20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.








Things found only in America:



1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.


3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.


5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.


6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.


8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.


10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.